How to Be More Submissive With Your Partner In a Way That Feels Empowering
Submission doesn’t mean weakness. In fact, choosing to explore your more submissive side can be one of the most powerful, intimate, and connected decisions you make with your partner. At Cupid’s Closet, we believe that consensual power exchange is sexy, sacred, and totally valid, as long as it’s built on trust, communication, and mutual desire.
So if you're curious about exploring your submissive side in the bedroom (or beyond), here's how to do it with intention, confidence, and safety.
1. Understand What Submission Means to You
Submission can take many forms, sexual, psychological, emotional, or even playful. For some, it’s about letting go of control. For others, it’s about heightening sensation, deepening trust, or playing with specific power dynamics. There’s no “one way” to be submissive. Get curious about what excites you. Is it praise? Restraint? Obedience? Service? Control?
Ask yourself:
-
What makes me feel safe and turned on?
-
Do I want to try this occasionally, or is it something I want to build into our dynamic?
-
What am I not okay with?
Your pleasure matters. Your voice matters. Even in submission.
2. Talk It Out (Yes, Before the Bedroom)
A power exchange without communication isn’t sexy, it’s risky. Talk to your partner about what you want to try, what excites you, and what your hard and soft limits are. This conversation can be hot, flirty, and full of mutual discovery, but it should also be honest and clear.
Use phrases like:
-
“I’ve been fantasizing about giving up control in a safe way.”
-
“What would it feel like for you if I was more submissive in bed?”
-
“Can we create a safe word so we’re both clear on boundaries?”
Creating consent based trust is what makes kink play powerful.
3. Start with Subtle Acts of Surrender
You don’t have to dive into full blown kink scenes right away. Start small. Try:
-
Letting your partner take the lead in positions or rhythm
-
Asking permission to orgasm
-
Wearing something they pick out for you
-
Offering yourself up with intention (“I’m yours tonight.”)
Submission doesn’t require props or scripts. It starts with the energy of willingness.
4. Explore Tools That Enhance Power Play
If you and your partner are ready, you can introduce toys or tools that enhance the dynamic. Think:
-
Restraints: Cuffs, under the bed systems, silky rope
-
Blindfolds: To heighten anticipation and surrender
-
Impact toys: Spankers, paddles, or floggers for those who enjoy sensation play
-
Collars or leashes: For more symbolic or physical submission
We offer a curated collection of beginner and advanced tools at Cupid’s Closet, and our staff is always here to help guide you.
5. Stay Present in Your Body
Submissive play isn’t just about following commands, it’s about feeling. Pay attention to your breath, your body, and your emotions. Notice where you tense up, what turns you on, and when you feel the most connected.
Practice mindfulness during play. This helps you stay tuned in and safe, and helps your partner read your cues, too.
6. Aftercare Is a Must
Whether your scene is playful or intense, emotional or physical, aftercare is essential. This is the time after play where you reconnect, nurture, and regulate. It might involve cuddling, a bath, talking, reassurance, or simply space and a check in later.
Ask each other:
-
“How did that feel?”
-
“Was there anything you want more (or less) of next time?”
-
“Do you feel okay, loved, and grounded?”
True submission thrives in emotional safety.
7. Own Your Power, Even in Submission
Being submissive is not about being passive. It’s about giving your power consciously to someone you trust, not losing it. When it’s done right, submission can help you feel more seen, desired, and deeply connected.
Submission is not about being "less than" it's about playing a chosen role with agency, fire, and full consent.
Final Thoughts
There’s no shame in wanting to surrender. It can be deeply erotic, liberating, and connective. Whether you’re just starting to explore or ready to go deeper, submission is something you and your partner can build together, with communication, care, and curiosity.
And if you ever want to explore tools, outfits, or toys to enhance the experience, we’re always here to help at Cupid’s Closet.
